The mention of Officer Robert Stanger in your post sends a chill up my spine, Due to the Community-Oriended-Policing (COPS) Program wherein officers work set beats our families locations in downtown Fargo and my daughter's father living in North Fargo -- by Oak Grove/Baseball Field saw our repeated interaction with this nightmare in blue -- who from the beginning treated us like my ex-fiance' had every right to abuse and terrorize our family.

It is unknown to me who this gentleman thinks he serves and protects, but it certainly wasn't domestic violence survivors when on August 8, 2001 -- my ex-fiance' kicked in the glass portion of the door in to our apartment spewing shattered pieces 16' wherein we were left for at least a half hour hiding in the bathroom as the legal eagle  and his partner spent their time talking to our abuser who was so bold he called Police fearing someone esle would call them from my screaming from downtown Eigth Street and Main Avenue and wanted to get a JUMP on his story. (We had just moved in and the phone hadn't been hooked up yet).

After Officer Stanger finally did come into the bathroom where my four-year-old was being given a bath by me to keep her from going into shock after her father behaving so violently we had to flee and she would personally be grabbed around the neck by her him before I could get her into the house it was like he couldn't understand that a little girl in shock who modest around others/males would cling to her mother and not scream to go to the man who hurt her.

(Of course, this Officer failed to follow-up despite our repeated calls to complete our statement now that my little girl had calmed down, but he never contacted us or checked with Social Services as to our statements that our ex-fiance' had physically grabbed us so that criminal charges could be filed --  choosing instead to believe the man who terrorized us. )

Excusing his actions, Stanger thought it's perfectly all right to kick glass in the face of small children as they flee the unforgetable trauma you inflict on them with the impractical excuse, "I had to break the glass. My daughter was crying for me."  Why then, when Officer Stanger gave up the batterer buddy talk and finally made his way into my daughter and I -- why didn't she scream to leave and get away from the crazy Mother/girlfriend her Dad had to save her from? Because it didn't happen.

It was at that point,  Officer Stanger asked my if I wanted to have him criminally trespassed from our residence -- and I said, "yes, all of the property."  Though the city ordinance legal reading allowed for my Ex to be banned from all family-owned property, 

Stanger stated he couldn't do that adding "are you sure you WANT him trespassed? You know these things only get worse when the Police get involved." How much worse could they get -- as my daughter's father acknowledged to Social Services the previous time he hit me in the face gapping my front teeth -- he was "unsure if he broke her nose,"   and  I still kept his bloody socks covered with my blood.  Worse enough for the police to accept his dumbfounded look and explanation that Officer Stanger had NOT told him he was criminally trespassed he told him," it wouldn't be in his best interest." to come back. Why file criminal charges?  You've got to have your recognized citizens with special rights!

Hey, I admit he's persuasive -- I went back repeatedly for the next six years thinking he'd get better.

I can't though, reach a mentality that over a decade after the passage of the Violence Against Woman Act that it's acceptable for a man to kick in a glass portion of a door because the woman whose left him asks him why he's made a report to Social Services containing deliberate false statements in violation of State Law. 

Yes, Officer Stanger there were some legal type papers and my purse by the door -- they aren't a major concern of mine when I'm running with my child for our lives from a man that's 6'5" in such a rage he's kicking out the upper door  portion around 4' up to bits of  small crystal shards he's sent flying at us fully 16' feet into the apartment kitchen and living room. 

Of course,  federally and state funded guesses wouldn't be neccesary to place in wiriting if a full investigation was done and proper police training meant full statements of all parties and taking pictures of the damage in Domestic Violence cases without the survivor having to get the help of a female officer after you've sided with the obvious agressor I was over a foot and 150 lbs., smaller than having refused to followed the City Domestic Violence Policy every single time I interacted with you in our numerous occasions including the date my father died and you terrorizedf my mother by taking pictures of his dead body for no purpose.

No effort to even ask my ex-fiance' if he called my father and harassed our family -- taunting him before he died, "You lazy bastard -- you and your whole F---ing Family will be F---ing sorry " (for reporting our daughter alleged she had been molested by his girlfriend's son (who had been previously accused by another little girl) while with her father -- of which the male refused to provide a statement to the Moorhead Police).  "F--k all of you."

 Though repeatedly told by my mother to leave them alone to have their dignity in death instead they photographed Daddy tunring him over and around -- my mother watching as her husband of over fourty years was being treated as a worthless carcus to pose for his sick pleasure. (No, pic tures are NOT taken by FPD at every death -- but if your family member does have these publically accessible photos taken anyone can buy them and the Police Department keeps no exact "record of disclosures of their release" for I think I was told five years -- with no respect given for your families feelings or the pride of our loved ones place. 

The September 3, 2001 Police/ICR  further details my mother trying to warn emergency medical personel about stints in my Dads heart detailed on a medical emergency card Officer Stanger held my mother back from giving EMTS. The card (stint recipients carry) showed the exact location of these tin foil thin pieces holding his coronary valve area open that compressed too hard in recessitation would collapse his heart. 

Perhaps, some Officers need training that State Law deals with interfearance with medical personel and those receiving medical treatment -- beyond the rights of domestic violence surviros under State/Federal and FPD Policy which included I was to be provided information as to support/advocacy services on  any one of the times Officer Stanger  made any one of his inaccurate/incomplete ICR's -- allowing his need for power and control over everything to eclipse job requirements due of fiduciary responsibilty -- of the highest standard of competence and care under the "color of law."  (See federal fund recipientt statutory requirements and the Department of Justice web page -- "Color of Law" on the internet.

Of course, I could be frustrated and disgusted with someone we Citizens trusted to keep us safe acting like a arrogant thug -- if I did not still -- along with my daughter -- have nightmares as to how we were treated unable to contain my tears over her loosing her favorite best buddy with no assistance/professionalism by two police officers that made no attempt to keep her from being uneccesarily traumitized with thier cruelly useless photo op delaying removal of his body --  making sure this four year old would watch the black bag on the cart go into the medical  wagon slowly watching him pull away for forever. 

For months -- my daughter relived that day reenacting the ambulance driving off  with a professional cou nselor, "Say goodbye to gaumo. I wuv wu Gaumo. I luv you."  Tears streaming down her cheeks. Why have our children had to survive these abusive officers and Social Services employees? 

It's only been the last six months that she doesn't look away in disgust at a Police car or driving by the Social Services Annex doesn't cause her to go silent as where she was handed over to the man who had even hit her mother with a part of the TTop portion of his racing engine Corvette unable to wait for me to strap her into her safety seat before he put the car in gear -- and nothing happened to him -- even though she told Police on the June 13, 2003 ICR my Daddy kicked me and he said he was sorry for running over my Mom. 

But, Social Services also did nothing to report the physical assault to Police she survived in the parking lot of the YMCA when she was unhappy at leaving her friends in after school care and he slapped her in the face while she was strapped into her car seat. As the Social Service worker is quoted in my custody investigator's report -- "She DOES CONDONE slapping a child in the face."  This leaves us only one option to walk on egg shells around someone who draws no line  is his physical and emotional batering between being a child or woman and he's around twice the weight of and about a foot and a half shorter than.

Sadly, we live in an area where women and children are at fault for their abuse and Policed and Social Service Workers are willing to laughily accept we are beating him up and he has to defend himself. What was he told Social Services I "get up in his face" with the portable lader I carry aound to make up for that height difference of over a foot and the 100 +/- pounds he outweighs us each of us by in one of the few locations where reporting abuse is the worst possible thing you can do with care providers still living in the "rule of thumb days."  (It was all right to beat a women as long as the switch you used was not any larger around than your thumb. (That is truly where "rule of thumb" comes from -- something we all might keep in mind)).

I am not content with this kind of system and future for our community  and our children -- and look forward to working with others who feel a change is neccesary to break the cycle of citizen abuse. Send me an email here or to dragonslayers8@msn.com. I am happy to show the extensive back of records I have compiled over the years of FPD reports, Social Service Records, Medical Records/photos, etc.

"Evil Triumphs when good men (and women) do nothing"